Friday, March 18, 2005

The Weirdness That is Dreams

I haven't had a dream with an RPG-based structure in a while. What I mean by that is that I haven't had a dream in which I was a character in a familiar RPG setting. Not in a long while.

Last night...yeah. I've been reading far too much Werewolf: The Forsaken, because my dream was pretty much a standard solo adventure. I was lured away from my, presumably Wolf-Blooded, family by an old woman screaming about having proof that werewolves exist. So I talk her into showing me. She drives to a park, at which point I realize that something was horribly wrong. That's when the fucking posessed bitch pulled off her skin and jumped me. There was a shape-shifting fight, presumably I won, but everything after I changed shape was rather hazy, and I woke up towards the end.

That's the annoying thing about my dreams. They always have such good plots, but, like a good TV show taped in a shitty VCR, they always end before the plot is finished. The villain is never fully defeated, I never get the damn medal, and the mysteries are never solved. On the plus side, I never hit the ground, the bullet never leaves the barrel, and I'm pretty sure the knife never ends up hitting. I trade a good ending for not dying. Also a bonus, I don't have nightmares. Instead I have recurring dreams where I walk into work one morning and our entire menu's changed and we're in the middle of a rush (I hold that this is the equivilant to coming to school naked on the day you have three exams you never studied for).

Now, I don't really lucid dream. I never realize inside the context of the dream that I'm asleep (except for that one where I realized I was asleep then ran around for what seemed like hours trying to get out). But at the same time, the dreams are normally pretty vivid, and I can almost FEEL the mental switches for things like flight, intangibility, and some weird thing where I vibrate my hands and blow stuff up.

Dreams have also inspired some of my greatest creations. Captain Orion was spawned out of a dream, as was a setting based around him that never really got off the ground. But at the same time, that was the dream that led me to actually understand how the theory of holographic reality works (don't ask).

A dream, actually, converted me to Hermeticism. To put it simply, I attained a brief moment of unit with what some Qabalist scholars call "Ein Sof", which represents the perfect state of being, the pure source of God. It was...indescribable. But very, very white (I mean there was a total absence of shade, color, or was just a whole lot of light). The sensation It was like being linked to EVERYTHING. A sudden understanding of a perfect state of being. Not a sense of God being there, but that the state itself WAS God. Its kind of hard to explain, but basically there is no God to unify with. Rather, humans possess, inately, the potential to attain a state equivilant to that of God. Not throwing thunder and lightning, but a state of perfect peace and unity with everything. Ok, you could also probably call it Nirvana as well. It is by far the most mystical (in the classic sense of the word) dream I've ever had. To be honest, it beats the ones where I learn to activate a variety of different superpowers, or practice high sorcery, or any of that jazz.

JasonK says his life bleeds fiction. That's basically a statement that well describes my dreams.


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