Friday, August 05, 2005

"Willy Wonka / Willy Wonka / The Amazing Choclatier"






This makes up for the filth that was Dark Water. Its bigger than Batman. This is just...goddamned.

It's hard to put into words just how outstanding this movie is. It captures all the weirdness of the old Gene Wilder stuff...but more so. Updated. This movie is just plain nasty at times, really. I mean...its more obvious than the first that Wonka's factory is a fucking gauntlet of vice. Every displayed room catered to tempt children into doing mindlessly stupid things if they are obsessed with their own vices. Gluttony, Pride, Greed, errr...Primal Stupidity...yeah.

The Oompa-Loompas are fantastic. Its one guy, duplicated over and over again via CGI in a variety of strange PVC costumes. With music that ranges from pop to heavy metal. They're at once more, and less, human than the old orange guys. Well...that and the suggestion that they're all coke fiends ("Too many cocoa beans" says Wonka)...

Anyway. Yeah.

Johnny Depp's Wonka is ten times creepier than Wilder's. He's not a happy go lucky toymaker...he's a fucking Nocker with like...negative 10 Social Traits. He has absolutly no ability to interact with people normally, and is so self involved he has a fucking robotic diorama built just to tell people how outrageously cool he is. Depp delves deep into his memory of playing Edward Scissorhands for this character...and he pulls it off. Yeah...if Wilder's Wonka was a Boggan, Depp's is a Nocker who's gone so far into Bedlam he's come out the other side and went around the loop a few more times just for good measure. Unseelie as all hell, you can almost see him pulling Glamour off the frightened kids and parents as the kids suffer horrible accidents as a result of their own idiocy. Its not about teaching them the error of their ways...its about giving them EXACTLY what they want...and then six or seven tons more.

And that scene in the beginning of the last quarter: "Where are all the children? I thought there were five." "Errr...they're all gone sir. I'm the only one left." "Huh...I guess that means you won, then." You're honestly looking at it and going "...did Wonka just have a schizophrenic episode?"

And the flashbacks...damn. There are some weird questions, though. Like: where the fuck did the house go? And how the fuck did the house end up where it was? And what did Veruca do to that poor pony of her's in such a way as to require a new one?

Yeah. Go see it. Because if it could drive ME to this level of incoherence, think what it will do to YOU!


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