Monday, January 23, 2006

Goddamned Elections

There's a Green Party candidate in my riding who looks like a younger version of the Smiler from Warren Ellis' Transmetropolitan. I kid you not. I have photos.

Canadian voting is so simple its attempted to be fool proof. Name, checkmark. There are maybe 3-8 names on the ballot, with party affiliation listed underneath.

This is really an election of voting to keep the country from getting worse, not making it better. Its a vote to attempt stasis rather than an entropic decline into Bush-territory.

This election our candidates are:

Jack Layton
I don't know much about NDP policy, aside from the fact that they bankrupted my home province of British Columbia and managed to get people so crooked they were indicted and impeached in office for three candidates straight.

In appearence, Jack looks like he should be a union leader taking thick envelops of unmarked bills from a fat "legitimate" bussinessman named Vinny.

Paul Martin
Paul's the current man in power, and so far his Liberal party's been real wishy-washy on exactly what they stand for, though they're pretty firm on NOT standing for what the Conservatives stand for. The Liberals have held power for damn near a decade now, but they've been running the country for so long that they've become troublingly like the Democrats: they don't seem to have a clear platform, or a clear set of major issues. The main problem the Liberals have had is that their party has had several major scandals hit them smack in the face, mostly involving individual members of the party or very small groups, but one of the main ad tactics used against them has been to make them look like crooks, theives, and con-men.

In appearence, "Uncle" Paul has been sweating his way through debates and TV interviews. He tends to stammer a bit, and looks soft. Not in the way that some of the older Eastern European and Russian leaders have looked soft...but he honestly looks like he's floundering a bit. I'm told he held strong in the last debate, but unfortunatly Uncle Paul's quickly being replaced by Uncle Fluffy.

Stephen Harper
Sadly, the Tories have been the only party to present a solid platform. Some of the stuff they want, though...

...Harper is anti-gay marriage, anti-abortion, pro-military, pro-family, etc. A big part of the Conservative party's platform revolves around education spending for universities, and forcing unviersities to lower tuition. Funny story: He can't legally do that. Universities are the domain of the provinces. Another funny fact: most universities don't like Harper or the Conservatives, not surprising considering that Canadian universities have traditionally been very liberal institutions.

The Conservatives have also done a great deal of white washing of their more extreme right wing Christian candidates, which has been an issue ever since the more moderate right Conservative party merged a few years back with the far right, big time Christian Canadian Alliance party.

In appearence, Harper's the only one who LOOKS like he could lead a country. Looks a bit like the Smiler, but...well, actually. Everyone I've talked to, and I mean EVERYONE says that Harper feels...wrong. Creepy. He gives off a really weird vibe. Something just feels innately off about the guy. Its hard to explain.

...and the Conservatives have now won a minority. 122 seats next to the Liberals' 103.


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