Thursday, March 31, 2005

Infinite Crisis (Yes, there will be spoilers)

I have concerns when writers start saying how "Crisis on the Infinite Earths" was one of the greatest comic book stories ever told.

That sound you hear, the one like a bag of rancid fruit splitting apart, is me vomitting.

Blue Beetle is dead. Long live Blue Beetle.

Apparently also now all the members of the Justice League are BAD ASS. Because, if the 1980s taught us nothing, it's unrealistic for superheroes to be anything other than hard edged, gritty, dark vigilantes who don't care about anyone...including the people they're supposed to save. This attitude has creeped into comics yet again. And while it works in stuff like DV-8, V for Vendetta, and others, it DOESN'T work for the fucking Justice League!

Well, ok, it works for Batman. "No Man's Land" was a great plot arc...mainly because it was all about Batman and his former pupils. Some of the grittier Green Arrow stuff written in recent years was good...because you can put a bit of grit into Green Arrow.

But the minute Superman stops caring about what happens to people? That's when everything has gone to hell. Because apparently its unrealistic for superheroes to care. Caring for superheroes in anathema.

I'm not saying that DC should stifle its creative efforts. I'm saying it should BE CREATIVE, rather than rehashing an idea that was new twenty years ago and has rapidly become old.

Also...the Spectre going out to kill every magical being on Earth? How the fuck does THAT make sense? Did God just tell him that everyone using magic is EEEEEEVIL? I really hope the Endless end that plot in the second issue by having Death tell the Spectre that its "his time".

The only sensical plot out of this "new Crisis" is the Raan-Thanagar war. Becuase space wars are always good...except I fear that this will somehow have been engineered by Maxwell Lord who, by the way, is apparently responsible for the Justice League never taking a major stance in world issues. I don't know. I don't care.

The sounds you hear are me dry heaving. My pain will stop when the DC writers return to their senses. Until then my only hopes rest with Warren Ellis, Greg Rucka, Bill Willingham (on Fables), Brian Michael Bendis, and Kurt Busiek.

May Jenny help us all.


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