"Who's the Certified Circumsized Private Dick Who's a Sex Machine For The Chicks?"

"Hammer!"

Dear god. I watched The Hebrew Hammer on Friday. This has to be the only Jewsploitation movie in existance.

It's...well...I'm not sure how to describe it. Between an evil Santa wearing a Santa hat and a red suit, the Jewish Justice League, and the Kwanza Liberation Front, I'm not 100% sure just what to make of this movie.

It's too silly to be offensive. I mean, its equally offensive of EVERYTHING.

Food Lady: "Would you like a free bacon double cheeseburger?"
Hammer: "Sorry...madam. We good, white, Christian folk must...reluctantly...decline your completly unkosher, but no doubt quite delicious, snack, for we have already gorged ourselves on many items involving milk...and meat...and are sadly full."

Esther: "It says on the door that you're a certified circumsized private dick. I'd like to see your credentials."

And on. And on.

Listen, just rent it. It's probably funnier if you understand Yiddish, and my Jewish friends say that its hilarious...I'm assuming there's a level of it that you miss if you're not Jewish, as there's a lot of extreme cultural parody going on.

Yeah, its offensive. Yeah, its bizzare. But damn...is it ever funny.